MuuMuse

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• Daily B: It’s Britney’s 30th Birthday, Bitch!
• Lady Gaga: “Marry The Night” (Video Review)
• Daily B: Britney Gets Birthday Feature in People Magazine, Has Sold 105 Million Albums Actually
• Introduucing…The Charlies!

Daily B: It’s Britney’s 30th Birthday, Bitch! Posted: 01 Dec 2011 09:33 PM PST Happy 30th birthday to the sensual seductress, the enchanting mistress, the ringleader, the living legend, the one and only, the Godney, the Britney Jeansus, the Holy Spearit… Miss Britney Spears! ♥ I LOVE YOU! Share your own Brit Brit birthday messages in the comment section below… EDIT: It’s a Britmas miracle! A previously unheard Brit Brit track just leaked tonight called “Love 2 Love U,” featuring a sample of Madonna‘s “La Isla Bonita”! It’s a cute track recorded a few years ago–a nice little surprise for the occasion! The Princess and the Queen unite once again… ENJOY! IT’S A CELEBRATION, Y’ALL!!!

Lady Gaga: “Marry The Night” (Video Review) Posted: 01 Dec 2011 03:48 PM PST From the preview of “The Prelude Pathétique,” I knew that the opening sequence to Lady Gaga‘s “Marry The Night” would be a downhill gurney ride for me. Lady Gaga’s whole “My lies are my truth are my lies” circuitous pseudo-philosophical nonsense has never, ever appealed to me, and it clearly wasn’t about to win me over now: Her monologue is an absolute groan-fest of try-hard ~artistic abstractions~, and with every obnoxious (“It’s sort of like my past is an unfinished painting”), cheesy (“I wish they’d only given me the gummy bears”), cliche (“I’m going to be a star”) line that followed, my eyes only rolled harder as she went from a girl with nothing to lose to a ballet girl-turned-bad ass. To me, much of the prelude–from the painfully long widescreen shot of the clinic, to the muffled audio with French subtitles, to the over-the-top absurdities (that Cheerios freakout, anyone?), to the extended Black Swan ballet sequence–reeked of an overly eager Freshman in college only too happy to show off her findings after taking her first Intro to Film class. By the end–as if to add further insult to injury–as she finally saunters out into the hallway of the ballet school with her newly dyed blonde do, bedazzled jean jacket and that unmistakable bad girl cockiness, I couldn’t help but angrily mutter under my breath the first time I saw it: Madonna. Seven minutes of pretentious self-indulgence presented as “art." Mercifully, once the actual song kicks in, the video becomes fucking phenomenal: From the very first explosive moments–the dirty puddle diving, the fierce-as-fuck posing against her slick metal of her ride, and the fiery kerosene explosions, it’s all systems go as “Marry The Night” finally revs its engines onward. The dance studio scenes are even more impressive, as Gaga shows off her ever-improved dancing skills (and tight ‘n’ toned physique) to the tune of several flawless choreographed routines. But it’s the last sequence of the video that really counts (and finally make the video click for me): In two minutes of frantically spliced footage during the song’s crashing finale, we see flashes of Fame-era Gaga, hauling her massive keyboard through hallways, crouched in bathroom stalls, tripping down the stairs and struggling to fit into car doors with her humorously over-sized hats and haute couture. This is the kind of story I can actually get behind. It’s Gaga before she was really GAGA, struggling flopping, and working her ass off after being dropped from Def Jam. We see her going from rock bottom to an Interscope Records audition–all to get to where she is today. A slightly dark, slightly self-mocking narrative…it’s genius. By the end of the video–despite my very strong convictions about that opening–”Marry The Night” still ranks among one of Gaga’s strongest clips, and it’s certainly her most personal to date. When it’s slimmed down to just the actual song, the clip will make for a perfect companion piece to the Born This Way album opener. Take a cue from the meat dress, Gaga: Trim the fat. “Marry The Night” was released to radio in November. (iTunes)

Daily B: Britney Gets Birthday Feature in People Magazine, Has Sold 105 Million Albums Actually Posted: 01 Dec 2011 11:50 AM PST It’s beginning to look a lot like Britmas! We’re just a mere hours away from The Holy Spearit‘s 30th birthday, and if you’re anything like me, I know you’re probably busy cookin’ up several heaping helpings of cheesy grits, sippin’ on a Frappe, putting on your Brit Brit rosary and reciting your Daily Scriptures (“…AND THE BABY DID SO HIT MEH ONE MORE TIME-UH, PRAISE GODNEY!”). Lucky for us, People Magazine‘s feeling the Spearit too! That (drop dead) gawgeous photo above is from a feature in this week’s People, celebrating the 30 blessed years of our Godney’s life. It’s now out on newsstands–so go and git it! Also in equally important news: Britney made another special cameo on Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night to present yet another head-scratching quiz question for the panelists: “What is my middle name?” But before she asks the question, Brit Brit is introduced to the tune of an epic X Factor-like introduction. And, as the voice-over man FOOLISHLY proclaims that Britney’s sold “100 million albums,” the Almighty Godney suddenly cuts him short: “…It’s 105, actually.” COULD YA FAVES? OH SORRY, BUT ACTUALLY THEY COULD NOT. To make this somehow even more amazing: Guess which major Brit Brit stan was on hand to correctly answer Britney’s question? UM, ONLY EMMA FREE OF ALL FLAWS BUNTON OF THE SPICE GIRLS. Hold (it against) me, Britney Jeansus. This is all simply too much for me to handle! 2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

Introduucing…The Charlies! Posted: 01 Dec 2011 10:46 AM PST Anyone still bumping some Nylon on their iPod? If you’re not already familiar with the Iceland-bred girl group troupe (trust me, no one’s judging you), a brief recap: The girls were a huge success abroad in their homeland throughout the mid-’00′s, crafting three #1 albums (two in Icelandic, one in English), loads of hit singles including “Holiday,” their own reality show and a book deal. The girls even enjoyed some moderate international success with their cover of The Real People‘s “Losing A Friend,” which peaked in the Top 30 of the UK Charts in 2006, along with their version of The Eurythmics‘ oft-covered “Sweet Dreams”, which peaked at #1 on the UK Dance Charts. Plus, they opened for the Almighty Girls Aloud on tour! (Talk about a true seal of approval!) But like most tried-and-true girl groups, the original roster was rocked: In mid-2007, founding member Emilia ditched the group (on good terms, ALLEGEDLY) to spend more time with her husband, resulting in a scrapped UK release of their English record 100% Nylon and a rush release their greatest hits collection, Best Af Nylon. The remaining ladies announced a hiatus for the band shortly thereafter, promising fans that they’d be back one day. Well, they’re back–this time in the form of a trio known as The Charlies. On November 11 (11/11/11), The Charlies released their first (100% free) mixtape: The Start A Fire EP, produced by Icelandic production troupe StopWaitGo. It’s an entirely amazing listen from start to finish, heavily inspired by the throbbing Scandinavian pulsations of Britney‘s Femme Fatale–from the four-to-the-floor space-age synthesizers to the unmistakable “Hold It Against Me”-inspired dubstep breakdowns. There’s the dooming, equal parts sexy and silly “Monster (Eat Me!)” (What can I say? I’m a sucker for a girl begging for you to eat her–right, RiRi?), to the gorgeous, sauntering “Start A Fire,” to the all-out smutty club affair of “Let That Body Breathe,” to my current obsession: “Ticking Like A Bomb.” While the song is a fairly straightforward lyrical affair about going out and blowing up, it’s armed with one of the immediate, unstoppable–and dare I say, explosive!–choruses I’ve heard all year: “I’m about to go o-o-o-out!” the girls scream-sing before the song’s surging beats come pumping into the speakers. Waves of pleasure, friends. Waves of pleasure. There’s even a sweetly sung cover of Coldplay‘s “Yellow,” which showcases the girls’ pleasant, skillful crooning to the forefront. It’s so sweet! Having already hit the studio with The Smeezingtons (Bruno Mars), J.R. Rotem and Jukebox, it seems like we’re going to see the girls doing big, big things in 2012. Start counting down to the explosion now! Many thanks to Muuser Eric H. for blowing up my spot about these girls for over a month. You were quite right.

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